Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Cardboard fish finger anger

Daily Record: Mum finds a piece of cardboard in her toddler's fish finger, not chuffed at £10 compo offer


Spotter's Badge: Ben

No laughing matter anger

Essex Echo: Councillors angry as laughing gas canisters found at local park

Plenty for the kiddiewinks to do there, I see.

Dog-free zone anger

Stoke Sentinel: Despair among 'dog walkers' as dogs barred from popular local pub

Time to think of a new excuse, chap.

Vineyard lease anger

Knox Leader: Couple angry they can't extend the lease on their vineyard

Ever wondered what happened to the creepy old caretaker from Scooby Doo?

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Monday, May 30, 2016

Very short cycle lane anger

Wolverhampton Express and Star: Cyclists flummoxed by very short and - frankly - useless cycle lane

That's the entire lane in shot, right there. Well done, the council, well done.

Spotter's Badge: Gordy

Huge water bill anger with added Ron

Salisbury Journal: Mum upset at 300% rise in her water bill

You know who else disputed a bill for a utility he swore he never used?

Spotter's Badge: David

Shite Street anger

Erith News Shopper: Road floods with sewage, bloke makes sign

I'm certain he's actually a cardboard cut-out. He seems very flat.

Spotter's Badge: Ray

There's nothing wrong with my hovel anger

Colchester Gazette: Bloke wants this fine example of post-modern British architecture classified as a dwelling

Seems legit.

Spotter's Badge: Dean

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Not a member of a terrorist group anger

Oxford Mail: Cross-stitcher says she's been blacklisted by Paypal as a terrorist because she lives on Isis Close

FACT: All terrorists give their address as "c/o ISIS, Syria", hence the mix-up.

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

No day off school for you anger

Southern Daily Echo: Mum threatened with fine for taking daughter out of school for a wedding

High-quality sadfacing from the kiddiewink.

Spotter's Badge: Matt

Messy Back Passage Anger

Hull Daily Mail: Is this Hull's most litter-strewn alleyway?

I've seen worse.

Spotter's badge: Ian

Carrot smugglers anger

Oxford Mail: Couple fined £200 for accidentally breaking New Zealand's bio-security laws with a carrot

Aww, look at his sad little face.

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Stop turning off my water anger

Frankston Standard Leader: Woman goes to court to stop her neighbour from repeatedly turning off her water

With a photo of what some water might look like.

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Micro pub anger

Chronicle Live: People who are thinking of the kiddiewinks not keen on a micro pub next to a nursery

Too right, someone might step on it.

Spotter's Badge: Huw

Humpty Doo shirtless anger

The NT News: Darwin pub to enforce 'no shirts, no service' rule

Now there's an image that won't leave your head any time soon.

Spotter's Badge: Michael

Friday, May 27, 2016

Get your hands off my chickens anger

Colchester Daily Gazette: Woman 'livid' with council over threats to her chickens

Tell them to cluck off.

Queen's Jubilee tree anger

Accrington Observer: "Uproar" as tree planted to mark Queen's 60th Jubilee is moved

Uproar in Accrington only needs one granny and her handbag filled with half a brick.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Stolen bike anger

Coventry Telegraph: Bloke's bike stolen in broad daylight and under CCTV cameras

Well done, Solihull. Well done.

Spotter's Badge: Hazel

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Wrong colour hair anger

Plymouth Herald: Student thrown out of school for dying her hair red

I love the idea of school "isolation", as if the breaking school rules virus might infect others.

Spotter's Badge: William

Community shop anger

East Anglia Daily Times: Local shop under threat from continued robbery attempts

"They stole my false breasts," says Hans Moleman

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Bowling green anger

Melbourne Leader: Aussie bowling club fears their grass could die if a school is built next door

Or then again, it could not.

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Rats big as cats anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Mum won't let her toddler play outside due to rat infestation

But look at the 3-piece trampoline set there. How could you deny her this?

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Noisy circus anger

North West Evening Mail: Travelling circus apologises for late-night noise

But if it's "AAAAARGH! Who left the lock off the tiger cage", then you've nothing to apologise for. Except the messy deaths of numerous locals.

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Horse and cart and a Shetland pony thought to be called Toby anger

Manchester Evening News: Man stages car park sit-in after being refused service after trying to take his horse and cart into a McDonald's drive-through

Alternatively, he could have just parked up and been served over the counter.

"As it stands, Connor has with him a dog, horse, cart and generator, and a Shetland pony thought to be named Toby was dropped off not long ago"

Spotter's Badge: Andy

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Comedy festival anger

Islington Tribune: Locals say comedy festival in nearby park is no laughing matter

Look, it's Highbury Fields. People *go there* to be miserable. Leave them in peace.

Spotter's Badge: David

Too sexy bra anger

Sheffield Star: MP slams Matalan for selling "sexy" bra for children

Thinking of the kiddiewinks. Well done.

Spotter's Badge: Geoff

Computer scam anger

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Councillor warns against the old Microsoft computer repair telephone scam

Look at his angry LibDem face!

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Monday, May 23, 2016

School vandalism anger

Moreland Leader: The Kids take a stand against graffiti artists at their school


Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Too many teachers anger

Sheffield Star: Mums upset that class has had 10 teachers since September

Also, Sheffield Fashion Week not all it's cracked up to be.

Spotter's Badge: Sarah

Cigarette in my veggies anger

Chronicle Live: Gateshead mum finds cigarette butt in her  pre-packed vegetables

KIDDIEWINKS KLAXON: "These vegetables could have been given to my children. Also, £50, please"

Spotter's Badge: James

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Burned out truck anger

Sunshine Coast Daily: Which one of you dags stole and set fire to my ute?

Come on mate, at least they found the badge.

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Virgin Media box nothing to do with Ron anger

Nottingham Post: Locals angry after internet cable box installed outside historic church

Doctor Who on the right can remember when the church was built.

Spotter's Badge: Sarah

Possum trapping anger

Stuff.NZ: Chuck Norris warned against trapping possums without a permit*

*Not sexy slang

Spotter's Badge: Joseph

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Nudist beach anger

Sunshine Coast Daily: Nudists forced to cover up on local beach

And this guy makes it sound like it's a bad thing.

Photographer: "Would you mind posing in the buff?"

Naked man: "Yeah, no worries"

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

No bus pass for you anger

Kent Online: Boy with exotic bird on his head denied £250 bus pass for school run by council willing to pay over £5,000 for taxi instead

Well done. Well done everybody. Especially Cotton Traders, there.

Spotter's Badge: Rob C

Lost parking spaces anger

Aberdeen Evening Express: Residents get the hump after they lose parking spaces due to improvement works at their flats

Never mind that - the sun comes out and we see an Aberdonian out gallivanting half naked

Spotter's Badge: David

Friday, May 20, 2016

Closed community hall anger

Edinburgh News: Kids don't even have public toilets or a library to vandalise after local hall closes down at short notice


Spotter's Badge: Goat

Impending zombie apocalypse anger

Bolton News: Heavy rain storm causes graves to be washed away

I know my zombie films, and the zombie apocalypse is ALWAYS started by a huge rain storm washing graves away. People of Bolton - please remain in Bolton so that we may contain the outbreak (with a tactical nuke, if needs be).

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Enough meat for everybody not angry at all

Guernsey Press: There's enough room for two butcher's shops on the island, and I will fight anybody who disagrees, says man wielding meat cleaver

I, for one, believe him.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Birdman vs The Man anger

Leicester Mercury: Old boy vows to defy written warning against feeding birds in his back garden

...all because a neighbour doesn't like birds crapping on their fence. Shame on them. SHAME.

Spotter's Badge: Calum

Tent in the woods anger

Watford Observer: Couple being forced to move from the shelter they've built in the woods

A very small part of me is shouting "crusty jugglers!" at them, but I'm a grown up now and the poor sods have been made homeless.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Forgot his season ticket anger

Nottingham Post: Forest fan left his season ticket at home, wasn't let into the ground and was "forced" to listen to the Wolves game on the radio

With him on the Wolves part, to be honest

Spotter's Badge: Jon S

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Tumble drier repair anger

South Wales Evening Post: Grandmother's tumble drier is no longer going to be repaired in February 2017

Is that morning or afternoon?

Spotter's Badge: Laura

Damn the weather to HELL anger

Nuneaton News: Umpires gesture impotently to the Gods as opening day of cricket season is washed out

You've got worse things to worry about guys. Somebody's parked a freight train across your cricket square.

Spotter's Badge: Hullablue

Old school fly-tipping anger

Wolverhampton Express and Star: 'Young Steptoes' fly-tipping across the borough from a horse and cart

Hint to police: Follow the trail of horse crap

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Just let me have two minutes with the scrotes who stole my motorbike anger

Portsmouth News: Former firefighter rides all over the world on his treasured motorbike, has it stolen the minute he returns to Portsmouth

Best quote:

"John bought the bike in 2012 and tackled his first adventure later that year, riding around Europe and Morocco for three months.Then, after divorcing his wife..."

Spotter's Badge: Ken, Jon

Get rid of my moles anger

Eastern Daily Press: Unfeasibly long story with some nice pictures about an all-female mole-catching team

"Two thousand years my ancestors have guarded this bit of turf, and now look at it."

In the words of Jasper Carrott: "There's only one way to get rid of a mole - BLOW ITS BLOODY HEAD OFF"

Spotter's Badge: Norbet

Clown robbery anger

Essex Echo: Sad clown considering his future in the kiddiewink entertainment business after being robbed of his takings by local derelicts

"Sometimes he makes as little as £5 per day"

Yeah, time to hang up the big shoes, mate. The big inflatable arse has fallen out of the market.

Spotter's Badge: Lisa

Monday, May 16, 2016

Clamped outside my own house but I'll let my kid to the scowling anger

South Wales Evening Post: Mum's car clamped by DVLA after mix-up over registration documents

Those traffic bollards that look like children get more realistic by the day.

Spotter's Badge: Twlldun